Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
