youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
