never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
