I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
