I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
