I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
