You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
