So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
soo... how was my night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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