i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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