I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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