We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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