i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
