It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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