I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
