Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hippo gnu deer
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
