I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm always down for nudity.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
