belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
