At least make sure they are 18
Why
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
