Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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