I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
