he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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