Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
