Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
