you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
