i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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