I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
