The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
