TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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