i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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