Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
