This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize