best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize