hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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