well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
