i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize