There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
