Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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