we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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