Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
