He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
