still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
