The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have aggressive nipples.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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