I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
