its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
