I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
