my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need water and some morals
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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