He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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