you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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