In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
