I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
