is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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