you guys were way drunker than both of me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
