Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
