Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
