next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
