So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
